We Love Making the Silent Nightlife
When I laughed and said “Don’t worry” it slipped off my tongue less like a pebble and more like a bolder and I wish that one day when we’re older you’d turn to me and say “but I did.”
Because I don’t just want to be held by you, to know you for a night, a week a year, I want to pick out baby names with you.
I want to watch the crows feet form around your eyes, wait for the laugh lines to solidify and have those awkward chats about remember when?
‘Cause forever was never an option for us.
We never carved our names in trunks of dying trees or spent our lives trying to be anything more than what we already were.
We never carved our names in trunks of dying trees or spent our lives trying to be anything more than what we already were.
Two people just trying to figure it out.
And regardless of what the romance books tell us we were never meant
To be the kind of story you could document
And we never created poetry, never shook the earth, never set the world on fire.
We never found a place in all the cliché’s because we were busy just surviving day to day
As two people who were never meant to find each other.
If you question what I would do to get over and be with you, lift you up over everything…
And I remember the time you told me to be silent
And while my violent tendencies rose I was quiet.
Because a thousand useless words could never express what it meant to lay in your arms.
And I remember the scene at the airport gate but we were too busy being late for somewhere else to say goodbye.
If we were a book any high school class would know at first look that that was our denouement.
That was the scene where we stopped going on.
I fought for you like you fought for me but sometimes defeat is the hardest word to say.
We’re like two blind divers who forgot to check their oxygen tank and just discovered why sometimes “breathless” and “drowning” are synonymous.
You asked me if we could just ignore so I said yes and so as though we each had a tape recorder mind we hit erase.
And the space
Between us gradually grew until I knew that there was nothing more that I could do to salvage what little bit of “what if?” that still hung stale in the air.
And I was forced to stare at the freckle on your back, some proof that
In fact you’re not perfect.
It made me think of the way you’d laughed and called yourself my mistake.
And I wanted to reach out and touch it,
I wanted to own it under my skin but you rolled over and what I saw wasn’t the face I knew but a face of someone passing through.
I put my hands around your neck and you wrap your arms around me. Put my hands around your neck and you wrap your arms around me.
And just like that we forgot
We were a children’s fight on a playground,
We never found a reason to hate but we still held it
Tight within our firsts.
And beat each other with it on Friday nights.
And I can assure you that if Cinderella ever met Sangria she would have said, “Fuck the deadline”
Because when midnight rolls around we stop waiting for the rules to apply.
Any semblance that I might have held in your eyes of a fairytale princess
Melted the first time I admitted that sometimes I’m lonely.
Cause I stayed at the ball but it was the prince who ran when I became nothing more than a beggar with nice shoes.
I concede that you were right about this place. I can make a perfect likeness of your body if I trace. I can hold you until we turn out the light and I can’t see.
Because honesty wasn’t a promise we wanted upheld.
You pretended I was just a nameless face and I pretended that I wasn’t disgraced by the title ‘crazy.’
All it took was grey t-shirt on my floor for me to see that I don’t need you.
And when I heard the words “are you alright?” I realized that we’ve never looked beyond ourselves.
So this is my renegade over overplayed songs,
My poetry of lines admitting I’ve been wrong
And if I’m not getting over I’m at least moving on
So little by little I let you vanish
Until you’re nothing more than a song
A button,
And a dislike of hard candies.
I concede that you were right about this place
I can make a perfect likeness of your body if I trace.
I can hold you until we turn out the light,
And I can’t see.
I put my hands around your neck and you wrap your arms around me. Put my hands around your neck, and you wrap your arms around me